My interactions with the neurodiverse community has provided me with some valuable insights not only about neurodiversity but about life, living and priorities. To live a life that feels whole and relatively free of angst, it is important to be self aware, understand our issues, be kind to ourselves and to others which can lead us to place in our journey where we find satisfaction and happiness. One of the biggest determinants of happiness is our behaviour and subsequent relationships with people. In line with that thought, in this blog I want to talk about being kind to those around us and to be respectful of everyone. These behaviors will better us and better our lives.
I am not one who claims certainty on a lot of issues. I feel so many of my beliefs, opinions and narratives are nuanced and on a spectrum. But with my neurodiverse friends, including those with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, there are some things I am certain. I’ve learnt with complete certainty that people with neurodiversities are wonderful, important people who bring so much value into our lives, if only we have the wherewithal to see it.
Contrary to popular belief, another thing that I am certain about, is that people who are neurodiverse, nonverbal or pre-verbal, are aware, are listening and can read people. People can assume that means they are not aware of what is being said to them or about them. But a lack of expressive language absolutely does not mean a lack of receptive language or lack of understanding or inability to listen or lack of cognition or intelligence. All the neurodiverse friends who I have worked with may have had limited vocalisations but they absolutely knew me, interacted with me, and were taking in whatever was being said and done around them.
I’ve had a different and unique relationships with all my clients, including those who are nonverbal. I always knew that they knew how I felt about them and they always communicated their feelings to me. I’ve had clients who have smiled at me when I entered a room; who have nodded their heads in affirmation when I’ve asked them how they were or coming to me after a meltdown looking at me with their soft faces trying to give an explanation for their behavior. They always communicated, sometimes with their body language, sometimes with a touch and sometimes with their communication boards. Communication studies show us that our communication is not merely restricted to words. Our messages perceived by others comprise 55% of body language, 38% of tone and modulation and only 7% of actual words. Our neurodiverse friends are honed into verbal as well as non verbal language. They are not only listening to our words, but to our tone, expression, and body language.
Whoever is reading is, please understand that the way forward for this world will be based on kindness, generosity of soul and compassion. Connivance and meanness will just lead to sorrow, alienation and discontent. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated and see the changes that unfold.
