As-salamu Alaykum everyone,
This is the story of my 11-year old son who is now Alhumdullilah, Hafiz Muhammad Umer. Our journey has been long and adventurous. Our son was born to us after three years of our marriage. In November 2008, we were so excited to welcome him. Being a career-oriented person I wanted to continue with my job, but something different was written in our destiny by Allah (SWT).
Our life changed completely after the arrival of our little angel. I recall, the first few months passed very quickly in excitement. However, after three months, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to go to work, because of Umer’s sleep pattern. He didn’t sleep at night, often the whole night! I would hardly get any sleep in 24 hours.
Alongside sleep issues, Umer had gastrointestinal challenges. Additionally, Umer would cry nonstop for hours for no apparent reason. I was extremely worried about it, but the doctors ignored my concern and called it a “mother’s overthinking.” Consequently, due to all these challenges, I had to leave my job. As a mother, I could sense that Muhammad Umer’s routine was not normal. Up till the age of four months, Umer remained a restless baby. He had multiple visits to the pediatrician for chest infections, ear infections, stomach issues, vomiting, or bleeding diaper rashes. We would always come home with a list of new medicines for him.At five months of age, Umer had severe diarrhea and had to be hospitalised. From that day onwards, a new set of challenges awaited us. Our stay in the hospital continued for the next two years. Yes, two whole years!
Fast forward to the time when Umer turned 3 years, he had a long list of medical diagnoses: blindness, autism, severe asthma, multiple food allergies, inner ear infections affecting his hearing; damaged milk teeth which had to be removed early on; non-verbal sounds but no clear words. However, in that time when every new day brought a new challenge, only one thing remained persistent: Muhammad Umer’s attachment and love for the Holy Quran. Soon, I found out that the Holy Quran was the only thing that soothed him. He had his own MP3 player and a small mobile with which he would listen to different recitations. Alhumdullilah , this always reminds me of a verse from the Quran, “Don’t be sad Allah is with us (9:40).”
Although, Alhumdullilah , now I have acquired this level of courage and gratitude, I recall that the initial years of parenthood were extremely hard. I feel that the hardest thing for us as Umer’s parents was acceptance of our son’s multiple diagnoses – to acknowledge and wholeheartedly understand that all this was happening with our only son. There were frequent consultations needed for Umer’s eyes, gastro issues, his teeth, his asthma, and even his behaviors. Umer’s dental condition did not allow him to chew anything. Additionally, finance was a big issue; arranging ‘Neocate’ milk (which wasn’t then available in Pakistan) for a long period of time wasn’t easy. It was a time of immense physical, emotional and mental stress for both of us.
One day, I was particularly anxious and overwhelmed. Right at that time Umer was listening to Surah Mominoon from the Holy Quran, and there came a verse,“And I entrust my affairs to Allah. Indeed Allah is seeing His servants (40:44).” For me, this was the turning point. I realized that as a human I cannot control everything and at that point I submitted myself to Allah (SWT). From that day on I went from being just a mother to being a caretaker of a precious gift (from Allah). My son remained the same, but I felt different- at peace within myself.
Our primary focus became Umer’s health and well-being. At the age of 4.5 years Umer would attend a school for 1-2 hours daily. Although he did not take part in school activities, I felt that he was enjoying it there because he started talking to me about school. He went there for a year. We had never planned for Umer to memorize the Holy Quran. However, as his parents, it became an integral of our daily routine. Additionally, in order to gauge Umer’s interest, we would play “Quran games” with him, wherein Umer would copy the Quran recitation styles of different Islamic scholars. When Muhammad Umer was 5 years old, Allah (SWT) blessed us with our second son, Muhammad Hassnain. Apparently everything was going in the right direction but still destiny had written something different in a closed envelope. My angel child came to me with a very short stay of just 80 days.
I believe that this was the hardest time for me! Through all this, Muhammad Umer, my backbone, brought me back to life. His therapies and doctor visits kept going on. In the middle of those, one day I came across a verse from chapter 13 of Surah Ibrahim:“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you in favour (14:7).”. “Could I be grateful?,” I asked myself. Yes I could. It has taken me some time to acknowledge all of Allah’s blessings around me which I was just ignoring before, Alhumdullilah:
- I am a Muslim and a follower of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
- I have a companion who actually strengthens me and accompanies me in all these hurdles, and our relationship has strengthened with every passing day.
- I am blessed with strong family and friends who support me. I am receiving a continuous dose of love and prayers from the eldest of the family to the youngest.
- I have met expert doctors, therapists, and friends who guided me a lot during Muhammad Umer’s journey.
- I am a mother of two Sons who will be with me in Jannah InshaAllah.
- And above all, for Umer’s love for the Holy Quran.
With this new dose of optimistic strength, I started working on Umer’s Hifz-e-Quran systematically. At the age of 6 years, Umer completed his Hifz-e-Quran. I have no words to thank Allah (SWT) for blessing me with this precious gift! To all the special needs parents, I would like to say,no doubt our journey is tough, and there’s no shortcut, but a firm faith in Allah’s mercy, and an unconditional love for your child will become your assets . If my blog has inspired anyone, then the purpose of my writing is achieved. In the end, I would like to leave you all with a video made on Muhammad Umer’s journey also aired on some Pakistani TV channels a few years ago. Share our story and remember us in your prayers.
Sobia Umer, has a MSc in Chemistry from Punjab University with Distinction and has taught as an O’Level Chemistry teacher at American National School Lahore, Salamat Girls I AS, and LGS. You can follow her son’s Youtube channel here.
