Humans hold many values close to their hearts, and among them, one that appears universally, is the value of connectedness and belonging. This value is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past; our ancestors understood the importance of living in communities, fostering support, and being part of the ingroup. The feeling of being assimilated, cared for, and supported during times of distress is universally understood, even if not always explicitly acknowledged. Most humans inherently recognize the need for connection and aspire to be part of an ingroup. Our brains, likely shaped by evolution, have an innate propensity to categorize the world into “us” and “them” valence categories.
Social Identity Theory, proposed by Henri Tajfel and John Turner in the 1970s, suggests that individuals develop aspects of their self-concept from their membership in social groups. According to this theory, these social identity groups provide individuals with a sense of belonging, the understanding that they are not alone in their experiences or perspectives; a sense of purpose, and feelings of self-worth, which can boost self-esteem. Moreover, belonging to such groups provides individuals with a sense of identity, as groups offer a framework to understand oneself within the context of a larger community. These groups also facilitate the identification, understanding, and pursuit of shared goals, thus aiding in identity formation.
Reflecting on Social Identity Theory, we recognise its relevance throughout various developmental stages of life. Beginning in infancy, our need for connection is evident as we seek companionship and interaction with peers and caregivers. As we progress through childhood, the significance of friendships and peer relationships becomes paramount, serving as critical components of our social and emotional development.
Moving into adulthood, the importance of acceptance and belonging within social groups becomes even more pronounced, particularly as we navigate intimate relationships and marriage. At each stage of life, the need to be part of a group remains a fundamental aspect of human existence. Indeed, loneliness and isolation can become pervasive if this need for connection and belonging goes unfulfilled.
From infancy to adulthood, our lives are shaped by our interactions with others and our sense of belonging within various social contexts. As we strive to forge connections and establish meaningful relationships, we fulfill not only our innate need for social affiliation but also contribute to our overall well-being and sense of fulfillment.
Within this framework, it’s essential to consider our neurodiverse community and challenge the stereotypes surrounding it. Despite misconceptions such as the belief that people on the autism spectrum don’t desire friendships or social interaction, the majority of individuals I’ve encountered within this community express (verbally, behaviorally, or emotionally) strong desire for relationships and acceptance into social groups. While they may encounter challenges with social nuances or perspective-taking or social appropriateness, the inherent need to belong remains deeply ingrained and desired.
My aim today is to dispel these stereotypes and encourage inclusivity. Here are some tips on creating an environment of inclusivity:
- Build Relationships: Take the time to establish meaningful connections with neurodiverse individuals. Especially if they are members of your family, include them, carve out time with them, make sure they are not isolated. Engage in conversations about shared interests, share your own experiences, and include them in social activities.
- Normalise Inclusion: Treat neurodiverse individuals as regular, valued members of society rather than focusing on their differences or perceived “special needs.” Avoid labeling or segregating them; instead, embrace diversity as a natural aspect of human existence. In my eyes this is the most important aspect of inclusion.
- Empathy and Understanding: Cultivate empathy and understanding towards neurodiverse individuals. Recognise that they may experience the world differently and be patient in your interactions. Practise active listening and seek to understand their perspectives.
- Educate Others: Take the initiative to educate others about neurodiversity and challenge misconceptions. Encourage open dialogue and foster a culture of acceptance and respect for all individuals, regardless of their neurocognitive differences.
By actively promoting inclusivity and understanding, we can create a more compassionate and supportive society where every individual feels valued and accepted for who they are.
Durriya Ahmed Shamsi is a behaviour therapist practising in the United States. She is a board certified behaviour analyst (BCBA) and licensed behaviour specialist (LBS).
