Uzma Akser, is mother of three children, including one on the autism spectrum. She has a legal background and is currently specialising in Special Education Needs and Life Coaching. Here she tells Anqa Tirmazaee her story.
Uzma tell us about yourself and your work?
I am a Special Education Needs Life Coach and Mentor in Abu Dhabi specialising in homeschooling and an active advocate for raising autism awareness and inclusion. I help mums with special needs children get their children ready for the world.
Do you believe homeschooling is the right answer for children on the autism spectrum?
I believe homeschooling is unique for every child and there is no right and wrong answer. Every child has their own journey. There are some families who have a flawless journey post-diagnosis and their child attends a school with which both the child and the family are happy. The child receives full support, therapy and has access to appropriate resources. However, on the flip side, there are many families do not find themselves in this situation.
Tell us what made you choose a homeschooling approach?
I was one of those parents. I learnt very early on that I had to move forward with my child with limited resources and not much external support as he was unable to attend a school that could provide the full support he required. My child was in kindergarten when we decided to pull him out and start our homeschooling journey.
What have you learnt about what can be achieved through homeschooling?
I realised in the first few months that I couldn’t control everything. I had to let go and work at my child’s pace and had to discover what he liked spending time on and what his interests were. My child showed a strong interest in vacuum cleaners and how they operated. He was extremely inquisitive about the technicality and functionality. He currently has the same interest but is fascinated about computers and how they operate and what parts are needed to build one.
For this reason, I did not want to settle for less. I believe everyone can thrive if given the right opportunity – there were no limitations placed on our homeschooling journey and we were able to achieve key milestones. We both had to learn. I wanted to witness a result in our homeschooling journey and see progressive development but I had to do it without consuming me or my child – I can proudly say I mastered raising a child at home without it doing so.
In your experience what worries do parents have in homeschooling a child with autism?
As mothers, we carry a huge burden of emotional baggage when it comes to our children. We have a strong desire to provide the best for them and do whatever we can by providing the finest education, the best extracurricular activities etc.The three main problems that we are often faced with are – the lack of motivation; worries about what the future looks like for our children and the lack of support and awareness in our community.
What I discovered during my journey is that we have to put our negative emotions and worries to one side; which can be extremely difficult as mothers and secondly show up stronger to transform our children’s future and get them ready for the world.
We do not need to compromise our child’s wellbeing just because we do not have the support other families may have. We also do not need to be held back by our own skills. I know mums may worry they may not have a strong academic background. As mothers, all we need to remind ourselves is that we are our child’s first best teacher and advocate. With this thought in mind, we can move forward.
How do you help parents address these worries?
These are the areas I work on as a coach and create roadmaps that are unique to the child and the family. I work together with parents and create a stronger home schooling system. I change the way a home schooling system looks and replace it with practical steps to move forward so you can feel more motivated and energised. I try and empower parents emotionally by transforming their current thoughts and beliefs. I treat my home schooling journey as my full-time job and show full commitment to my children in order to see transformative results. All in all, I help mothers with special needs children master home schooling, raise children that are ready for the world.
What inspires you?
My inspiration is my child. I am only travelling this journey because of him. I believe every child deserves an opportunity to receive an education. From our experience, we didn’t receive the external support that he truly deserved; but I did not allow this to dishearten me and my family and we kept moving forward with our personal goals that have truly benefited him. I can confidently say we have seen a positive outcome academically, socially and behaviourally with him. Having choice and freedom in choosing what curriculum suits him and how to plan his academic year, selecting what extracurricular activities he may be interested in and the friends we choose to be around has been a great win-win in our case. It is important to be mindful about your social environment and finding ‘your people’. This helps with not being judged and or feel isolated.
How do you maintain your resilience?
My resilience has come from my duty as a mother and the role I play in my child’s life. I believe it is my duty to help him navigate his way in life during his early years and then provide him with the tools to live an independent life where he will be able to advocate for himself and make decisions. Now I am helping others do the same.
